Bringing Sexy Back

Lucky 13 and 10. I’ve spent the last 13 years of my life battling, beating and fighting over cancers to be healthy and happy. It’s a full time job, especially since chondrosarcoma came into my life in 2013. I thought fighting and beating triple negative was hard, and it was hard. But primary bone cancer, not metastatic breast cancer to the bone, was a gift since it wasn’t metastatic, but it was also another completely different and even harder battle to win to date. That’s how we have to write as cancer champions, “to date.” It’s open-ended wording with no closure. One that I get sick and tired of writing. Yes, I get sick and tired. I get tired of it all many days. I took a break in January not to blog write and let the last 12 years just simmer in my personal writing and art. I continue to live a healthy lifestyle as I did before cancers.

Chondrosarcoma has added a disability and reduced my daily energy tank that requires a daily (lifetime) rehabilitation in ways I never expected. It’s hard, don’t let how I appear on the outside and my unwavering Scorpio spirit undermine the battle that’s been going on deep inside of me every day I have life. But what I haven’t focused on was being sexy. I was focusing on health and life, not being and felling sexy. It’s time to forget about this year what it means to be a woman whose body was ravaged by two separate cancers, chemotherapy, loss of bones, female muscles and organs, and womanhood. It’s February and as I told my husband on Valentine’s day, it’s time for me to recapture and bring sexy back for myself. I’m already healthy. Photo: I Am the Canvas.

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