Mirror Imaging

This week and next I will have my annual scans. I’ve learned to be real about them, but not focus and worry about them.

I’ve also learned not to carry or hold worry about the worry that other people bring with them to my situation when I let them know it’s scan time. Because if I do, their worry  becomes my burden.

HOW? How do I do this when I’ve just  posted about it?  Boundaries, writing and creating awareness.

First, it‘s mine to release and not anyone else’s to carry.

Second, worry doesn‘t change anything, it just wastes precious, valuable time.

Third, meditations, good vibes and prayers are welcomed.

Fourth, questions requesting more detail and transfering your worry to me, are not.

Fifth, what I do or don’t release about the results and on my time and to whom is my decision.  It’s my body.

Sixth, scanxiety is real. The moment you are given scan times the imaging becomes real and the imagination can run wild if you let it.

Seventh, my imaging appts will last all day Thursday (MRI pelvis, CT pelvis, XRAY pelvis and femur) and next Friday, I’ll have an MRI of my spine. And after all that, I’ll get my results with the oncology surgeon at Moffitt. It’s the drill and how it‘s worked for 11 years. I can’t change it and you can’t change it by worrying.

Eight, I haven’t been feeling well since November and last week my pain was beyond the normal pain I live with and excruciating.

Nine,  it could also be osteopenia, or lack of hormones, I don’t have anymore information to offer you than those facts, so there is nothing more to squeeze out to appease worrying for either of us.

Ten, so why worry? Instead make an action plan to try and avoid worrying, but not awareness.  That’s what I always do. It’s actually a daily practice now.

After 11 years of two separate cancers, previvorship,  and Genetic predispostions, I’ve learned to manage my information. The key word here, and why semantics matter, “MY”  information by setting boundaries.

I hope these “Top Ten” help you better understand how to manage worry. Below is what I’ve learned to do during Scan Week.

1) Art, make tangling and expressive art with music or making sound; and “free writing,”  which is what I’m doing now or journaling.

2) Increase my levels of melatonin and CBD oil input starting right after dinner, recently having discussed it with my integrative/functional doctor to help with insomnia nights.

3) Read entertaining or educational (non-medical) books, articles, and magazines.

4) Increase cardiovascular and serotonin generation with more cardio exercise, and for me that’s swimming and “running“ with a running belt in the pool.  Being very aware not to push myself to a depletion Zone, 12-15 minutes is sufficient for me.

5) Noise, yes, “noise“ can be a preoccupation and that can be a good thing.  I typically don’t watch TV during the day, and not a lot at night. So a good dose of reality TV or a movie can take me away for a bit and it’s nice, especially with some organic popcorn or dark chocolate flax muffins, and an occasional glass of Pinot Noir.

6) Spending time with family and intimate friends that nourish.  We had family come this weekend and it was lovely and nourishing.

7)  Last, but not least, having faith, hope, and courage for the best possible outcome.


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