While I’m Under

I’ve had to find many ways to ensure my body is put in the proper hands.

It’s been broken, chiseled, cut, hammered, injected, opened, sawed, snipped, and stitched back together again multiple times.

We take a huge risk when we make that choice to go under the knife. If we can, who we chose is a tremendous part of not just the outcome success, but the healing process while on the table.

I always hope and pray that the soul holding the scalpel is present, is clear, didn’t “party the night before," and remembers me, my spirit, my soul upon the first slice of my skin.

I want to "hold hands" when I’m under.

It is a relationship of pure unconditional release and trust. I always ask to wear headphones with MY music; and so far the anesthesiologists and surgeons have approved.

I don’t want to hear (yes, hear) subconsciously, their Rock and Roll music, about their other patients problems, surgical dialogue - what they see inside me (bones, blood, cancer, guts, organs, or no cancer).  My body WILL absorb it.

I want to hear healing sound. I play my meditative music and affirmative, healing prose from the likes of Chopra, Muniz and Tolle. Healing takes place inside and that meditative sound heals my body, mind and spirit while “I’m under.”

So that when I wake up, everyone in the surgery room has been "holding hands" through their role of me risking and placing my total trust in their hands.


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